Future plans

For now I would just read all sort of books about internet marketing and self improvement till I ORD . Save up some money and start an online business for a side income . At the same time , I guess I be most probably end up in sales line .I would actually just do jobs that requires me to move around . I felt that i am not suitable for a job that requires me to be at a fixed position. After that, I save even more money from money made from online business and salary earned . From those savings I would like to set up a drink stall . Like those bubble tea shops lol , I like to do it cause I really like chilled drinks and i really dislike feeling heat . These days the weather is just crazy . I would save up money and just on things that would make me more money like investing in stock , insurance …etc . I never thought of having kids (I like to have but I thought of what i could i teach them and what kind of example am I , I tell myself to forget it) and just maybe i would be that kind of old man that dies alone and only be discovered by neighbors when they notice a strange nasty smell .

Well , the worst part of above is just that is only what i said , I do totally different stuff which do not pull me towards the vision for myself as described above . Maybe that vision is something like I want which mean good to have . I have not made it as I can’t accept myself without achieving it and maybe thats why I just stayed in my comfort zone happily .

Another reason could be the lack of belief and confidence i had i myself as I always grew up with the belief that i feel that i am lesser to the others.

Many of my close family members , cousin …. i think they have all lost faith in me as my history shows that i am kind of native person that are easily targeted to be cheated and scammed. Told to get a simple and just live life as it is , but just sorry to them , i could not accept myself being like that for my own life without any achievement in my life.However I have decided to stay unhappy with myself and continue to create more wealth no matter how lousy people think I am rather than to fool myself that i am happy doing a simple job . Life sucks when you have to admit that you suck anyway. Hate to admit it but events just keep coming back to me , I was wondering when will i ever learn.

All those are just excuses , I could gave myself a thousand of reasons why I could not , however in the end a person only need a strong and heartfelt reason to keep himself focus and discipline towards what he wants to achieve .

Hopefully one day the giant within me would wake up and rise

For me I just guess that I have not found the reason yet .


~ by nijnail on August 17, 2010.

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